Harry Potter and the Order of the Thingy
by Baby Dick Grayson-Wayne
Summary: Funny story about Voldermort, his parents and his Fiancéé, Harry Potter AND the NEW dark Lord.


A/N: Dont ask me. I didn't know WHERE I was going with THIS EITHER, I just write everything that comes into my head

 _ **In the beginning there was the adopted..**_

The bespacled boy WAS sitting in Hogwarts one day, with .  
They were doing their favorite pass-time:Quidditch

AS they did this together the short boy gazed DEEP into her blue eyes. "Oh, Luna, I have SOMETHING very important to tell U."

"YES, splenda-filled honeybunches of oats?" she said, batting her eyes at Harry Potter who said, "I hate you now!"

Then he took her arm and tore it off. Harry took her arm and started hitting her with it.  
SHE exploded because she was a demon, but she was okay.

Harry Potter walked away. "Cool guys don't look AT explosions.",and begun to giggle.

 ** _The next day..._** ****  
But before everyone got themselves ready to go AFTER Voldemort, there was one thing the evil man wanted to take care of. He had to introduce the bespacled boy to his parents.  
The tall man had been thinking for IT for a long time. _HIS PARENTS_ were the worst. Uppity, PATHETIC and homophobic, but the tall man had told them that he finally got engaged and that he would introduce the short boy to the family before they would make it official (A/N there is GAYMARRIADGE on Earth. If YOU want to know how that happened, read the HISTORY BOOK!)  
"Uuuuurgh," said HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED( _ **VOLDEMORT**_ )

"I can handle it," the bespacled boy said

"You don't know my parents!" You-know-who said.

"I know, but if they created you, then they can't be that bad," the Brunet SPOKE wisely

"I know~ but it's still...uuuuuurgh."

"We'll just go there AND I'll impress them," the chosen ONE said manly Then You-know-who hugged the green eyed boy's closer in his arms.

He felt safe there. The evil man knew that whatever WOULD happen, Harry would be 's parents. They came into a dining room and the table had already been laid.

"Ah, you've finally arrived," Tom Riddle's mom said and she looked at the short boy, "You're late."

"It wasn't his fault," THE gryffindor said ALWAYS as protective of the dark wizard as he was. "It was the weather."

"Sure... sure..." Mom said and she went back to the kitchen.

"Wow," He-who-must-not-be-named(voldemort) SAID, "she DIDN'T even shake your hands."

"Oh well," the gryffindor said offhandedly.

Oh gosh, that nonchallant way. Exactly THE reason why Tom Marvolo Riddle had falled in love with the boy.  
The dark wizard was busy SWOONING OVER his fiancé when his dad came in.

"Boy," dad said and THEN stared at Harry POTTER, The chosen one and shook his hand politely.

"Ah, YOU'RE here too," dad said to the parselmouth, "Help your mother out, it's time THAT the men have a CONVERSATION."

"UUUUUURGH," The heir of Slytherin said and went into the kitchen.

He hated how his dad considered him less THAN a man. Only because he WAS the 'villain' in the relationship didn't mean he wasn't nice at all!  
Then the dark lord's mother made him do all sorts of ANNOYING useless jobs. AFTER all, as MOM said, people like them were inherently used to these sorts of things. THEN dinner came. He-who-must-not-be-named was told to TAKE the food in while MOM and dad already sat down. The tall man wasn't even allowed to see where Potter went off to Just before he carried in the first plate of food, he felt something weird. Like a crosswire went down back, tingling all along the way down. Something was off, but he-who-must-not-be-named(voldemort) was still too annoyed with his parents! Then the heir of Slytherin carried in the meal. But NO one was there. Instead, at the end of the table, the creepy man sat.

Voldemort laughed at the creepy man and said,"My my, that apron looks lovely on you!"

THE new dark wizard threw down the meal and flexed his muscles. Oh, he had been waiting for this moment. Not only was the next DARK lord going to feel the fullest extend of Voldemort's rightious fury, Voldemort could also unleash his FRUSTRATION with his parents! He threw the dish at the parselmouth like a DISC. But as it hit his new archnemesis, it turned out it was a hologram!

"If you want to see your parents again," The new dark lord said, ",come to my Hut"

Tom felt conflicted. On one hand, the dark retired LORD hated his parents, on the other, he still needed them for the WEDDING!

THE Brunet CAME in and said: "We should save your parents.

"But uuuuuuurgh,"said lord Riddle.

"No we should. I TALKED to your DAD, and he really does love you."

"Alright. Fine."

So they defeated together the new Dark Lord and everyone was satisfied.

The tall man: what do you mean, it's not over yet?! I'M invincible!

Clarisse: No No, back into your coffin!

Tom Marvolo Riddle: Grrrr. You will never get me in my box. I am too large AND too sexy!

(Author: Ohh no, it looks like the characters still WANT a story!

Clarisse: of course we do! Or cake. I love cake

Voldemort: Well I'm gonna steal your cake!

Clarisse: Noooo! Whats going to be my dinner now!?

You-know-who: mhuahahaha, life isn't worht living without caaaaaaaaake, so just die already will you?

Clarisse: OK, Ur right, life isn't WORTH living without the awesomeness of cake. FAREWELL bitter world of cakelessness

Draco Malfoy: chotto mate-ah Voldemort: huh ;^_^;  
: domo desu-ka _

Clarisse: Caaaaaake, NEED cake. Like brains, but cake!

Dragon}Big Brother: well, I want you, how about that?

Draco MALFOY winked at CLARISSE, but Clarisse wasn't into men.  
But he was all hot 'n that, Clarisse thought. So Clarisse pecked on her cheek and winked longingly at her.

Author: WELL, looks like they'll be busy for a little while. Cake?.

Tom: Nooo the cake is A lie. Gimme it!

 _ **The End**_


End file.
